I went to bed last night with a plan. I was going to get up on time and not hit the snooze button. I was going to get an early start to my day and do all sorts of things. Wonderful, important things. I was going to have the energy of the Energizer bunny!
Of course, I did not count on my three-year old waking up with a fever, restless and crying at 2 AM. And I didn’t count on the little baby waking up with a fever as well at about 3 AM. Neither did I figure on not being able to go back to sleep right away. Sigh. And so my day started out groggily, kind of fuzzy actually. My cup of java helped me to get through a slightly sluggish morning. My day has been anything but “according to plan”.
Like a lot people, I think having a plan is great. You know what you have to do, where you have to go, any time constraints, etc. There is a certain sense of control over life. And then — life shrugs its shoulders and things are thrown off kilter. We are reminded that, in fact, we are not in total control of everything.
Rather than make us feel scared, or upset, the knowledge that we are not in control of everything should serve to free us from having to worry ourselves willy-nilly. There are just certain things we cannot do anything about. Mind you, I am not being fatalistic. I believe in giving or doing my best, as if everything depended on my efforts. I believe in trying again if I fail the first time in something. But I also believe that if things do not work out as planned, it is for reasons more important than what I know or understand at that time. In the end, I know things work out for the good — for what is best.
As I type away on the keyboard, my 3-year old daughter is alternately resting her head on my lap and looking at the computer monitor. She still looks tired. No one has any fever now, but there is a lot of sniffling, sneezing and coughing going on in the house. (Quite obviously, a bug has taken up residence in our home.) My hope is the children will get better soon. Really soon. I hope my husband doesn’t get sick. I hope I don’t get sick! (My patients need me!!) But if things don’t go according to plan — as they often times don’t — then I will chalk it up to a chance for some down time with the family. It simply means my child needs me to get her milk, hold her hand, or feed her more soup. My energies are needed more in certain endeavours, and not necessarily what I deemed to be top priorities at first.
Whatever the reason may be, the change in plans will not be the end of the world. Life happens. I’ll deal with it.
Musings from a Mom at Large 